Ok, friends. I have some exciting news to share today…
I’m pregnant! This August my husband and I will be welcoming a baby boy into the world. I’m actually pretty pregnant…about six and half months. It’s felt strange not talking about it yet on Hello Friday, but since this is my first pregnancy I’ve had a few reservations about sharing the news, or sharing it too early. After all, it’s a lot to process.
I’ll backtrack a little and fill you in on some of the details. We found out just before Christmas last year, so we surprised our immediate families with the news over the holidays. Everyone was really excited, but it was all so new and early, truth be told, it hadn’t really sunk in at that point.
It’s crazy how at the beginning, 40 weeks seems like such a long time, and now it’s all starting to fly by…maybe a little too quickly. I’m really thankful to be going through this experience with some of my best girlfriends—myself and two others are expecting right around the same time. Pregnancy can feel lonely sometimes, like it’s all happening to you, and you’re really the only one who can go through it. So, I’m lucky to have a great support team. I’ve felt more “homesick” over the last 26 weeks than I ever have in my 31 years. The short week I got to spend with my family, a few weeks ago, really made me realize it too. Saying goodbye to them was incredibly hard. All I can say is thank goodness for FaceTime.
Like a lot of women, my first trimester was rough. A few weeks after the New Year, when I was just about 2 months in, the nausea started. I struggled with really bad morning sickness—which ironically never actually happened in the morning. The mornings were usually the easiest part of my day. I couldn’t keep any food down. It was pretty miserable. It’s strange how weeks of repetitive puking (sorry, there’s just no cute way to say it), really takes its toll on your body. I kept thinking, if this was food poisoning, or a stomach bug, or even a hangover, the nausea would last maybe a few days max. But, this was day after day, week after week, with no relief. That went on for five weeks. I lost 20 pounds. I worried nonstop about the baby. I felt bad for my husband—we hadn’t been in Charlotte long, it was winter, and I was truly down for the count. In those weeks, all responsibilities fell on him—and I know I was zero fun to be around. But through it, he continued to be supportive and took care of me. Then miraculously I had two really good weeks and crossed my fingers that the worst was over. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. The morning sickness came back again and lasted another few miserable weeks. It’s strange, because at that point you haven’t started showing yet, so I really had to keep in mind why I was feeling so terrible. In those early months it’s hard to connect the symptoms and feelings to the life growing inside you.
It quickly became clear I needed to find a doctor. Since we were still new to the Charlotte-area, we approached the search for a doctor a little differently. We toured the hospital first. Then once we confirmed we liked the hospital, based on the practice that delivers there, picked a doctor. I read reviews, thought I had done all my homework and then wasn’t able to get an appointment for another four weeks; which turned into a longer wait when the doctor had to cancel that appointment. Rather than waiting another month I called the office and begged to be seen by any available obstetrician. I got in that morning and as it turns out, I have a team of doctors available to me. I guess it’s a way to get comfortable with multiple people since you can’t guarantee who will be available to deliver when you actually go into labor.
The doctor prescribed medication for my morning sickness. I had some fear about taking medicine while pregnant, but at that point I must admit I was a little desperate. It worked like a charm, within a few days, I was able to eat and function again. Thank goodness! And since then, I can’t say I’ve necessarily felt 100%, but it’s been worlds better than those first months.
We found out in my second trimester that we’re having a boy. I swear, I already knew though—I had dreams about the baby being a boy and I just had a feeling. We’re really excited about it. And, I now know it’s definitely not a cliché to say regardless if it’s a boy or girl, you really don’t care either way, as long as the baby is healthy. It’s true. I just want him to be healthy and happy.
Pregnancy is a beautiful, crazy, unique, hard, amazing thing. If I’m being honest, there have been a lot of overwhelming moments for me. I’m already an anxious person—add growing a tiny human to the mix and it’s a little bit like the perfect storm. There have been a lot of nights where I wake up at 3am because I have heartburn, my back hurts, or I can’t get comfortable (even wrapped in my ridiculous, over-sized, pregnancy pillow, the Snoogle), and then I start to think a mile a minute and find it almost impossible to fall back asleep. I feel the most overwhelmed in those moments—when I start to panic that Donald Trump could actually become president soon after my son is born. Or, how much I want him to just be a good, kind, honest person, a gentleman who treats people with respect. I worry about all the mistakes I’ll make as a parent. Or, whether I’ll have the patience and resilience to make it all work. I consider how I may never sleep well again after he’s born, so why is it that I can’t sleep now? Or, how the three of us, Mike, me, and the baby will all be sharing a room in our one-bedroom apartment for the first five months. And, I think of all the things we registered for as baby gifts and wonder do tiny babies really need all that stuff, and where is it all going to go? Or, how at some point in his life, he’ll probably hate my guts, which seriously already hurts my heart and makes my eyes water. I know it’s all a little crazy, isn’t it? Can I blame it on the hormones?
I used to think the scariest thing about having a baby would be the delivery. Because, let’s be real, every movie ever makes it look terrifying. But, I think I’ve come to terms with that—I figure women have been giving birth forever, my body knows what it needs to do, and come hell or high water, he has to come out. Right? Plus, I’m guessing at that point I’ll just be ready.
I was going to share some things I’ve learned during my pregnancy, but when I sat down and thought about it, I decided I’m still figuring this out—I’m not sure I’ve learned anything as much as I’ve just tried to get through each day without taking a spoon to a gallon of ice cream, having to put on real pants, or crying in public. (Which, I’ve actually done once, in Target of all places—one of my happy places. Granted, one of my best friends was moving to England that morning and I also couldn’t decide what kind of cake mix to buy. I guess it’s kind of appropriate that I only had cake mix and icing in my cart when it happened. Thank you to the good people of Target in the Stonecrest Shopping Center for not looking at me like I was totally insane.) I think about how this time in my life, these 40 weeks, is the only time that will ever be like this. A time when I can focus solely on this little boy growing inside me. Before starting our family. I’ll never experience pregnancy this way again. If Mike and I are lucky enough to have more children, the next pregnancy will be totally different. So when I think of it that way and the miracle happening inside, it’s easier to put it all into perspective and enjoy and cherish it. Even the weeks I was so sick all seem worth it now. Especially when I get to feel him move, which is so often these days…it’s my absolute favorite.
Since life is quickly changing for me, I can’t be certain what the future looks like…and that includes Hello Friday. I suspect there will be some weeks ahead when my goals of weekly posts just don’t happen. If it comes down to blogging, a shower or a nap, full disclosure, the nap may win. But, I do know that I’m excited to share the rest of this journey with you and see where this adventure in #momlife takes me.
See you next Friday! xx, Devon